


Rest

by xHonestSecretsx



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Depression, F/M, Parent Bucky Barnes, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Postpartum Depression, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, References to Depression, daddy!Bucky, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-17 00:09:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11839896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xHonestSecretsx/pseuds/xHonestSecretsx
Summary: Reader struggles to keep it all together. One night, she gives into her struggles. Bucky just wants her to know it'll be okay.





	Rest

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly I just wanted a break from my other works. Ha.

She hadn't always been like this. 

At some point around six months, she decided sleep was for the weak. You were used to the typical change of the diaper and boob-snack of milk. But it was different: a change and milk didn't put her to bed anymore. Ever the fighter, neither did rocking. To be honest you were exhausted. Day time afforded tons of play and only a few brief, fleeting moments of sleep. It wasn't as if you were a one parent home; but Bucky was often out with Steve on missions among other things. When he was home, he took her to play. He noticed the hours you slipped out of bed to the tune of his daughter's restless cries. He knew by the cold of his sheets when you were gone to the rocking chair to nurse or attempting to put her back in the crib. At times he too slipped out to give you a break, but with his useless man-nipples how was he to put her to bed? 

A soft sobbing roused him from bed. It wasn't his daughter who yet still whined and babbled for attention. "Why won't you just sleep already?" It must have been his wife. He slid out of bed with a ruffle of his still damp tresses. "Babydoll?" Bucky's rich voice delighted your daughter whose lips you cleaned of the warm oatmeal that had done nothing to pacify her anytime she was set in the crib. You had tried it all: milk and food, cuddles and books and yet she was wide awake as you looked to your phone that blared 3:47AM in a sassy blue hue. "I'm here." You answered, curling your fingers through a few of your daughters wispy curling locks. It was easy to detect the shame in your normally sunshine-cheery voice. Bucky slid her up into his bare arms. God, he could have just teased you with his bare muscles highlighted by the lamp. It was a sin to just wear those loose black capri pajamas. "Get to bed baby," He gingerly slid you up by his cold arm of vibranium and walked you back to your favourite side of the bed. 

"But she's not asleep and you just got home a few hours ago," You reasoned that it was your job if he was out working most of the evening. It should have been your job to take care of the home as well, but there was a basket of unfolded clean laundry and a dishwasher full of dirty dishes. Even the house was riddled with toys. Your mother told you to 'maintain' a house, (even if a job--which you had not) but Bucky never seemed to care. He came home and never seemed to fail at tidying up. You felt guilty, wondering if he had heard you earlier. "Overtime, babe, duty calls." Bucky gave you one of those softly charmed smiles. His smiles were always calming and though you felt upset, your head dropped against the plush of the pillows in a rare delight. "Just this once," You murmured, Bucky smiling as he slid to the dark corner of the suite to rock her. 

_This once..._

Morning came quicker than you knew it. But as you woke up, her plush grey bedsheets were empty. Apart from that though, you could hear the soft coos and smash of toys on the plastic of the high chair. "Is she depressed?" Steve's smooth, deep voice was the first you heard. It wasn't a stretch that he was here, he lived with Buck and you in case of any emergencies or... words that ought not be said. He must have been up. You hugged the corner as you eavesdropped, "Could be. I don't know. She won't talk to me about it. Thought baby blues went away before now." Bucky remarked when she blew a raspberry of chunky breakfast cereal at him, leaning forward to slap the feeding tray (which was clear of the toys she knocked to the floor) repeatedly. Now peppered with cereal, Bucky took that as a suggestion to stop. He promptly did, falling back exasperated. Of course this would happen to him. 

"Thanks for that, Viv." He motioned to his daughter while Steve stifled a laugh and handed Bucky a damp napkin to wipe off the cereal. Steve slid up behind Viv, cleaning her little chin of the remnants of breakfast with her bib. "Anytime in twelve months. Uh, Clint told me." Steve unclipped the feeding table and buckles while she leaned forward in a pick me up. His hands slides under her arms as he walks over to the mat on the floor, setting her down with a fluff of a playful hot red tutu around her thick legs. "C'mon with your uncle, She reaches down to 'smash' her toys around a bin. "Think she should be sent to a doc?" Steve suggested, tossing a rubbery ball in the air. "Pa!" Vi cooed, ending in several soft giggles. 

Bucky stood up to toss the napkin away, catching your eye around the corner. Before he could call out, you darted down the hall. "Shit." He muttered under his breath, looking back to Steve. The two were still playing when Steve shot him an all too knowing nod of his head. He must have known what just happened. Perhaps they both knew you were there all along out of force of habit. Bucky quickly paced to the bathroom where you were washing your face with a sweet smelling green tea wash, clearing your mind desperately of what you just heard. They wouldn't really commit you, right? For depression? You weren't even sure that was it. 

You were just _so tired_. 

Tired of waking up in the wee hours of the night, too tired to fall back asleep after Viv slept and much too tired to do anything but cook and take care of her. "Baby girl," Bucky called. You dried your face with a still quiet on your lips. You gave an awkward smile, "Hey baby," You slid out a cotton pad to apply another step of your skin care regiment. Bucky tenses, "Are we going to maybe talk about this?" Bucky presses further and perhaps a bit eager to do so. He knew how your foolish little mind worked if he couldn't corral it properly. You would think he would want to get-

"Are you trying to get rid of me? I know I slack off on laundry and I don't mop as often as I should. And Steve does the dishes a lot," You ask in a meek voice and hell, there it is. Even as you applied the last product and even as he took in those words, they never failed to completely shock him. He struggles for words before he comes to a conclusion. "What? Why would I care about a bunch of dishes?" Bucky muses that he's lived in far worse than the house that faltered in upkeep. He's taken back by the whole ordeal. Sliding beside you, Bucky's arm hooked around your opposing hip. "I should be able to do it," You remark, imagining the jumbled sight of toys or a full loaf of dishes in the sink. But Bucky doesn't falter. His hand clutches the delicate silken fabric of your slip, hiking you up onto the countertops before easing into the space of your legs confidently. He breathed confidence in whatever it was he did. Only rivaled by the caution in which he did it. 

"Your sanity is more important to me than some dishes. She needs you." Bucky slides your hips closer to the edge of the counter. That's what weighed so heavily on your mind. She needed you... and you were dragging so harshly. You just wanted to sleep most of the time. It was the clue that you needed a break. Your hands came to cup Bucky's cheeks, leaning in for a soft kiss to his lips. Bucky quickly returned the kiss with his lips prodding against yours. As you parted your lips, Bucky took full control of the kiss. "That's all I could ask for you to say," You breathed in a little shakily when Bucky stole another soft kiss. 

"You know what I want you to say?" Bucky presses, his hands sliding up the soft silk. "I'll go to treatment Buck, it's a place to start." You sigh, if it was post partum, it should be gone soon right? If not, the only console you needed was knowing that Bucky would always be right there beside you to help. 

No matter what.


End file.
